The 5 Things Men Won't Talk About When Dating

What is your partner really thinking when he goes quiet? What’s running through your date’s mind during the silences?

Having interviewed dozens of men on topics they rarely discuss, Maggie Hamilton, author of What Men Don’t Talk About, has discovered that men, like women, long to be heard, accepted, loved and understood by their partner.

“In our desire to grasp the differences between the sexes, we as a society have come to focus on what separates us, rather than what joins us together. The way ahead lies in realising that there are more qualities that bind us than separate us,” writes Hamilton.

Here are 5 things that, according to Hamilton, prey on men’s minds:

1. Just as women need tenderness from men, so men need tenderness from their partner. They find it difficult to ask for tenderness, and are often afraid that the softness from women will come with strings attached. According to Rowan, 41: “Women need to love themselves first, so they can give generously around them, because neediness is never a good basis for a relationship.”

2. Contrary to popular opinion, ‘sex’ is not the reason men seek long-term relationships with a partner. Instead, the men Hamilton spoke to talked about being ‘supported and held’, having ‘somebody to share things with’, ‘encouragement’, ‘truth, honesty and a friend’, ‘a soul mate’.

3. When it comes to love, women often assume men hold the balance of power. But in relationships, men are often intimidated by women because men perceive their partners as holding the sexual power.

4. Many men feel the strain of having to appear strong all the time. Our society assumes men can handle whatever situation they are in, but there are times they need the help and protection of their partner. According to Hamilton, men find it extremely difficult to ask for help.

5. Men feel pressure to perform sexually with their partner. However, rather than seeing this as stressful and undesirable, many men see this pressure as a good thing. Matthew, 27, says: “Yes, men are under greater pressure. But so they should be! Men of my generation are better educated in this area. It’s what is expected of us, and also what we expect of ourselves.”

...just don't expect to read about this in their Online Dating profile.

The Art of Attracting a Woman

Understanding what a woman is looking for in a man is the first secret to attracting a woman. For many men, the concept of how to attract a woman is simply a mystery. It’s understandable, though. Men and women differ in so many ways that it’s difficult for many of us to really grasp how to get inside the mind of the opposite sex.

The true key to attracting a woman isn’t a mere laundry list to check off, step by step. It’s more a guidebook on the path you must follow to completely seduce a woman, mind, body and soul. And believe it or not, what really gets a woman going is much simpler than you may have ever imagined.

Understanding the differences between the sexes will help give you a better foundation on which to build your knowledge of women. Once you can get inside her mind, it’s all downhill from there.

Communication is ultimately the most important aspect in seducing a woman. Like so many other aspects of our lives, effective communication is the key to success. You want to take the time to really get to know her and what she’s looking for. This will benefit you greatly when it comes to pleasing her, so don’t think that getting to know your woman is a pointless, grueling task of learning a bunch of useless information.

Patience when attracting your woman is equally important, too. Being in a hurry will only prove to damage any good you could’ve done by learning anything at all about your woman. When it comes to attracting a woman, take it slow. We want a man to take his time, not just rush in for the brass ring. A woman wants to know that you aren’t just playing her for sex. And the best way to prove yourself is to take your time.

All in all, women want to feel special. Being romantic makes us feel special. So if you want to seduce your woman you have to be romantic. It proves that you care, that you want to please her and that you know how to treat a woman right. Romance will take you a long way in seducing a woman.